* Photo credit to The Closet *
In today’s saga, smarmy little Jessica Wakefield with her smarmy little lavaliere and her smarmy little bangs has the audacity to hate on sophomore Annie “Easy Annie” Whitman—the brunette who’s tearing up—for being trampy and dating billions of boys, such as Bruce Patman and Rick Andover. Because Jessica, as you know, has never done anything of the sort [1] [2].
Sick of dealing with her drunk mom and Mom’s gross boyfriend, Annie is ready for a life makeover. She recruits Elizabeth Wakefield to help her improve her grades so that she can be a cheerleader. Jess hates the idea of sharing the squad with Annie because, as mentioned previously, Annie goes on lots of dates. She’s probably into Advanced Hand Holding 101.
Jess refuses to be impressed by how good Annie is at tryouts, even though she’s wowing ‘em left and right with her splits and flips. Jess, you’re as cold as ice, just like Foreigner said you were. It is most definitely ON after Annie unknowingly and blissfully upstages Jess in a dance contest at the Beach Disco. In fact, Jess tells the other cheerleaders she’ll quit if Annie makes the squad, and this is seen as a tragedy: Jessica’s “the heart and soul of the squad.” Oh, good Lord.
Anyway, Annie gets a rejection form letter and sobs on the football field in the arms of cheerleader manager Ricky Capuldo, who has developed a bit of a crush on her. Ricky reluctantly tells her what people have been saying about her—she’d had no clue that people refer to her as “Easy Annie.” The news distresses Annie so much that she heads home to flirt with suicide! Ricky finds her, and the discovery saves her life. Is it any wonder I always expected a crush to “save me” from my life? Fucking books.
The twins visit Annie at the hospital, and naturally, they lure her out of her overdose-induced coma with their Wakefield magic and promises of letting her become a cheerleader. Annie wakes up and has no bad feelings toward anyone, least of all beloved Jessica. I really need to know Jess’s secrets for getting off scot-free. They work every time.
Other Notes:
- Seventy-five girls are trying out for the cheerleading squad. I didn’t think seventy-five students even went to SVH.
- Todd Wilkins and Liz get into a two-second fight because Liz is being secretive about the Annie situation and Todd sincerely interprets it as her not loving him anymore. Oh, you guys! Get a life.
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