* Photo credit to The Closet * This cover bores me. The dude looks like some guy Brenda and Kelly would fight over. A Plot: First with the twins, always the twins. Jessica and Elizabeth are ready to commit suicide because they’ve just witnessed the… Read More »#136 – Too Hot to Handle
* Photo credit to The Closet * It’s plain to me why Jess looks so disgusted – that’s the worst fucking kiss I’ve ever seen in my life. There’s actually much to hate about this cover, in fact. First, it’s a photo cover, which I… Read More »#135 – Lila’s New Flame
* Photo credit to The Closet * Here we have Olivia Davidson, who is way more attractive in real life than the book covers would allow you to believe. Perhaps it’s because her wild mane isn’t being tamed by a freaking forty-five rpm. Olivia and… Read More »Super Edition: Mystery Date
* Photo credit to The Closet * Why do these royal ball gowns look like JC Penney prom dresses? In other news, that prince is sort of foxy. Too bad he’s such a whiner in this story. While wearing their beautiful aforementioned JC Penney ball… Read More »#134 – Happily Ever After
* Photo credit to The Closet * LOL @ this cover. Who’s the twin in purple looking like she just ran up eighty flights of stairs? And the other one is like, trying to take a clandestine pee beneath his ball gown. And they’re shackled… Read More »#133 – To Catch a Thief
* Photo credit to The Closet * Because Papa Wakefield’s got some sweet hookups, the twins are going to the South of France to be au pairs for a royal family for the summer! I’m sure. Anyway, Liz is crushed to be leaving poor Todd… Read More »#132 – Once Upon a Time
* Photo credit to The Closet * I’ve nothing to really say about this cover. Liz looks cute. Her hand looks like a raptor claw. That’s about it. Jessica is upset because the most recent love of her life—Cameron Smith, mail room nobody at Flair… Read More »#131 – Fashion Victim
* Photo credit to The Closet * Jessica’s shoes are atrocious—they’re like, open-toed checkerboards. I can’t think of a single thing that a person can wear with them that would make them look awesome. Speaking of wearing stuff, look at that rack of clothes. All… Read More »#130 – Model Flirt
* Photo credit to The Closet * The first of the photo covers featuring the Daniels twins! Jess is on the left and Liz in her modest daisy number is on the right. This cover has nothing to do with the story. Sweet Valley High… Read More »#129 – Cover Girls
* Photo credit to The Closet * On the inside of this cover, we see all sorts of scenes that never happened in this book, like Jess and Liz running from the law, Bruce Patman giving Jess daisies (as if), and…LIZ canoodling with some dude… Read More »Magna Edition: Jessica’s Secret Diary, Vol. III