This time, it’s meeeeee!
(I know you’re fighting waves of desire for me now.)
If I won a trip to go anywhere in the world, it’d be Sweet Valley! Every boy is cuter than the next, there’s no danger or crime to speak of (other than vampires, murderous identical stalkers, and baddies at Kelly’s), and everyone’s so fun loving! I would love to spend a whole day with the SVH gang—it’d be a blast!
My favorite character is definitely Elizabeth. She has the perfect relationship with Todd Wilkins—I hope they stay together forever! (I think we all know that Jeffrey was just a fluke. Todd’s the real deal, y’all!) She’s sweet and smart, and she’s always willing to drop whatever she’s doing in order to help someone. She’s so nice, she’ll even talk to fat people, sluts, and other bad seeds in Sweet Valley! I think it’s really great that she’ll help out her twin sister Jessica, even though Jess never really appreciates it, not even when Elizabeth took that tour guide test for her or saved her from a cult. Some might call Elizabeth idiotic for constantly helping out Jess and the rest of those motley SVH goers, but I think they’re just jealous that she’s a beautiful blond Mother Theresa!
The thing that I love most about Sweet Valley High books is that they’ve really taught me how to get a handle on my life. Once I was just a quiet nerd with huge glasses and limp hair who had my heart broken by some careless seventh-grade boy with freckles and a stupid haircut. But I now know that everything will start coming up roses once I accuse that boy of attempting to sexually assault me. Everyone will pay attention to me, that boy will probably swear off all other girls for the rest of his life, and I’ll come off as super desirable. It can’t fail!
As far as I’m concerned, the day Sweet Valley High was initially released in 1983 might as well have been the second coming of Christ. Francine, you da bomb, girl. Thanks for creating such realistic characters for me to look up to and aspire to be someday!