My friend told me that one year when she was giving out candy to trick-or-treaters, she opened the door to see a tween wearing no costume and thrusting out his candy sack to collect all the loot while he talked on a cell phone. In light of the evidence, it seems unlikely that the giddy, gleeful phrase “Trick or treat!!!” was not something that the adolescent uttered that evening.
My friend begrudgingly gave him candy anyway, but maybe she should’ve doled out one of the following horrible items instead!
(Note: Please remember these are BAD ideas. It is not advised to give out any of these suggestions to innocent Halloweeners.)
1. A cigarette-butt-filled ashtray
2. A syringe full of heroin and blood
3. A well-worn VHS copy of My Grandma is a Back-Door Slut!
4. A jar of liposuctioned fat
5. Your newborn baby
Secret bonus bad idea: Those horrifying religious pamphlets that are actually given out
(Does anything kill the join of candy acquisition faster?)
Happy H’ween, everybody!
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1 Comment on "Bad Ideas for Trick-or-Treat Giveaways"
well, I remember when people used to give out pennies. I didn’t think it was a bad idea then, though it was weighty. But if when you got home and all you had was 22 cents in pennies well then it is a bad idea. I enjoyed trading candies that I didn’t like with my brother. Maybe I would say sweet tarts do not please me. Oh and about that well worn copy of Gramma and her hobbies… was it under the couch?