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Dramobil: A Playmobil Soap Opera: Part 3

Back for more, are you? Masochist! Regardless, welcome to the continuation of Dramobil, a soap opera taking place in and around a Playmobil dollhouse! Let’s see what’s going on now, shall we?

DRAMOBIL!!!!!1

A band of rogues—Lo, Behold, and Cragsman—congregated outside the house, plotting. They suspected that inside hid the most depraved, detestable secret-to-end-all-other-secrets—and they vowed to unearth it, no matter the cost.

The first step was to get inside the house to explore. Lo and Behold busted through the kitchen door using their cannon, hoping to create a sufficient diversion.

While Lo and Behold entered through the front, Cragsman chose to go in through the top. Calling upon his years of training at mountain-climbing school, he climbed the exterior of the house with unparalleled grace and expertise in a matter of seconds, pausing to catch his breath outside an attic window.

What Cragsman saw through the window shocked him to his very core!

Meanwhile, back on the ground and milling about the house’s vast stretch of land was the Anorexic Horse, who had problems of its own, namely a self-image issue.

The Anorexic Horse’s self-confidence was further depleted when it attempted to chat up but was ignored by the arrogant and beautiful Bratty Bridal Ponies responsible for pulling the wedding carriage, which would whisk The Bride and Groom off to their beautiful life together.

However, the Bride and Groom’s wedding was not going exactly as planned.

Trumpet, one of the King’s henchmen, arrived sans invitation to kidnap the Bride for the King’s mysterious, sinister purposes.

But Trumpet had an agenda of his own. He was not kidnapping the Bride for the King, despite what he had told his majesty. In truth, he was the Bride’s secret lover and intended to steal her from both the Groom and the King!

Hardly the bravest of men, the delicate Groom swallowed the lump in his throat and attempted to stop the kidnapping of his lovely Bride with a few firm but polite words delivered in a tremulous tone. However, Jesty, one the King’s more amusing yesmen, appeared with his hilarious battleaxe and halted the Groom’s knock-kneed efforts upon order of the King should the Groom hinder the kidnapping of the Bride.

But Jesty, being the Bride’s even more secret lover, had no intention of letting the Groom, the King, or Trumpet have his beloved.

Antsy to see how the kidnapping was progressing, the King put in an appearance at the problem-plagued wedding to say hello to his hostage/not-so-secret lover, The Bride, and bid adieu to the Groom, whom he intended to have drawn and quartered at a quarter to dawn.

He had nary a notion that both Trumpet and Jesty intended to betray him.

The situation prompts many questions. Will the Groom grow a backbone and fight for the Bride’s dubious honor? What makes this chick so damned great that everyone’s after her? Will the King catch onto the intended disloyalty of his men? Who will make off with the Bride? Does anyone even care? But most importantly—what will happen?

Perhaps we shall discover this after a brief commercial break.

WE’RE BACK! Now, in the backyard, the pirates—headed by head buccaneers Lis and Alon, both with the ability to wield and operate two dangerous weapons at once—were celebrating their recent victory of making off with a lot of valuable bric-a-brac in a chest.

But the pirates’ self-congratulatory joy was short-lived as an IRS Guy showed up, twirling a pistol around his index finger.

Alon, ever the impetuous pirate, feared the government hijacking of the already hijacked treasure, shot the IRS Guy at point blank before the IRS Guy could finish suggesting a duel to the death.

Now Alon was in trouble. The Feds would soon be after him for sure.

Alon made arrangements to escape (i.e., with a wild look in his eyes, he jumped on the nearest steed—an anorexic steed that was moping near a duo of bitchy-looking ponies strapped to a wedding carriage).

His comrade, Lis, was displeased to be stuck with dealing with the drama of a dead IRS guy while Alon turned fugitive. In his desperation to go rogue, Alon simply promised he would return someday and dashed off on the back of the Anorexic Horse.

A baleful blaze in her eyes, Lis’s gaze drifted from Alon deserting her and their crew to the dead body and back again. She idly swung her mace, inwardly vowing to make that miserable defector pay for sticking her with his mess.

DUN DUN DUUUUUUUNNN!

Keep a cool head, y’all
the final installment of Dramobil will post
in two shakes of a (very very very very very very slow) lamb’s tail!

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