* Photo credit to The Closet *
Mmm. Okay, is that Devon Whitelaw or Todd Wilkins, the two boys who are warring for worthless Liz? Whoever it is, I want to pin him down and bite him on his cleft chin. Yum. So what’s the deal with the title and this cover? Liz looks like the one who should be contrite. Ugh, but she never is.
Have you ever wished an entire SVH book would be devoted to mountain biking and being at one with nature? Well, population of exactly zero, your dream has finally been realized!
After pounding on Liz’s door, wailing for forgiveness for fighting with Devon in public; sending her multiple heartfelt cards (that go unopened); and probably taking a morose, John Cusack-inspired walk in the rain, Todd lets himself be coerced into mountain biking by hippie/friend-to-the-word-“man” Keith Wagner. Todd thinks it’ll be easy-peasy, as he assumes the most athletic thing Keith’s ever done is flicking his Bic-igniting thumb to fire up his bong. But he finds it’s actually hard work! He also finds tranquility within, realizes his spirit is set free, and is no longer plagued with thoughts of Liz. This sounds magical!
Meanwhile, Liz is so done with both boys…yet she can’t help but love them just the same! What’s a girl to do? Why, slam the phone down when they call and scream “Get out of my life!” of course! But then she packs her bag to go on Project Adventure, a week-long endeavor (for which Ned and Alice grant Liz time off from school, naturally) spent learning survival techniques for living in the wilderness, i.e., a state park in Sweet Valley. Didn’t she learn any such skills after her unsupervised romp in the desert when she went to Death Valley?
While Liz is off in the forest, boiling dandelions for dinner, Jess plans a Secca Lake barbecue for Liz, Todd, and Devon after ruining their lives last book in hopes they’ll forgive her. There are gratuitous scenes of her and Lila Fowler at, like, Party City talking about invitations. But she quickly deduces something weird’s going on when all the dudes vanish and get all vague about their whereabouts—they’re all mountain biking with Todd Wilkins and it’s some big secret guy thing. The girls stalk them and blah blah.
And what’s Devon up to? Mostly standing in the ocean, asking the setting sun, “Where’s the answer—where?” Seriously. After that, he decides to run away from home—all the way to the state park, where he bumps into Todd and the rest of the SVH boys, readying themselves for a good mountain biking jaunt. Todd, having found the inner peace and wisdom that only changing gears and spinning spokes can bring, invites Devon to join them, which he does, and then Devon too is transformed by the power of the sport! He and Todd even become friends in the span of an hour and make a pact to stay away from Liz! Apparently mountain biking is the pathway to nirvana.
Liz, left to her own devices in the woods, sees her loves getting along in the state park but chalks it up to a hunger-induced mirage, as she’s starving after a dinner of acorns and berries. She, too, then finds infinite wisdom—everything will be okay—and returns home like Buddha on the mountain (bike).
But all is not, in fact, okay. Todd and Devon break their pact when they see each other at Liz’s house at the same time (what’re the chances?) after Liz sends Todd to pick up a cheese tray for the barbecue in her Jeep via some contrived means. Todd—because the Jeep needs repairs—gets into a car accident. Devon saves Todd’s life, but the Jeep plunges into the icy Pacific. And then Liz dumps Devon and Todd. I enjoy the ridiculousness of all that.
Aside from Todd’s near-death experience, the barbecue is a success because the mountain biking boys show up and, because they’ve had time to embrace their masculinity and reconvene with nature, they’re more thoughtful, observant, and romantic than ever! I’m convinced the ghostwriter was freelancing for both Francine and some BMX mag.
Other Notes:
- Devon sends Liz some crap in hopes of winning her over, i.e., a leather-bound book of poems inscribed with “These words barely touch the surface of my feelings for you.” I just yakked.
- This book actually uses the term “par-tay.” Oh dear. That was definitely how I talked when I was twelve.
- Liz transfers out of the chemistry class she and Devon had together in the span of the day. How is that possible—let alone allowed—without it screwing up a million other things? Oh, right, because she’s good. And kind. And honesty personified. And I hate her.
- Jess actually recruits Liz to provide copy for the barbecue invitations. How can writing out the date/time/address/details be hard IN ANY WAY?
- I love what the guys chat about during their biking excursions: “told jokes they couldn’t tell their girlfriends; talked about sports, about making it in the world…” LOLZ. That’s just phrased so awesomely. They’re all young, white, over-privileged males. I’m sure they won’t have any problems “making it in the world.”
- The back copy: “Unless [Devon and Todd] grow up, [Liz]’ll never speak to either one of them again!” All of that…just gold.
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