* Photo credit to The Closet *
So on this cover, we have the twins standing around looking bitchy while Lila Fowler reads a letter with eyes the size of a Powerpuff Girl’s. Everyone looks like go-go girls.
We pick up in this three-part saga with Lila being arrested in evening wear, which is so hot. Everyone thinks she was behind bombing some restaurant, on top of taking out her own house. Against the D.A.’s orders, Steven Wakefield blows his internship and bails Lila out of jail, and the twins are flippin’ shit over it. Liz and Jess actually act like total bitches in this—they’re so pissed that Steven and Lila are dating that they refuse to talk to her and start thinking she’s guilty for starting the fire in her house. They forge letters to the couple from the other, freaking each other out about what they expect from the other in the future. Jess is like, “I just couldn’t stand by and let her steal my brother. You two are all wrong for each other, but you just can’t see that.” Meanwhile, Liz “wrote the letter to save her brother from a terrible fate—Lila Fowler.” Jesus Christ! What’s the big deal? It’s effed up, for realreal. Is everyone in this family in love with each other or something? Are they just meddling d-bags? I vote yes on all accounts. Then the twins only stop ostracizing Lila so that they could put their sordid plan in motion. Even Todd Wilkins reminds Liz to butt the fuck out: “It’s his life, Liz. It’s not your place to play games with it.” Amen. But she never listens.
Steven vows to prove Lila’s innocence. He searches the D.A.’s evidence and finds a tiny piece of soda can that the bomb was made out of, and wouldn’t you know it, it’s the can that holds the same kind of soda that John Pfeifer drinks. (Remember that attempted date rapist?) He and Lila go to the football game and see John there, and he’s got a bomb, and he confesses that he set Lila’s mansion on fire. He also whines about how Lila ruined his life and made him an outcast nearly fifty books ago. Who knew he was harboring such a grudge—we hadn’t heard a peep from him since! People must’ve written in and complained that J.P. didn’t get what he deserved. Well, at any rate, he pulls a Heathers and blows up the gym and himself, and that’s the end of him, forever. Later, the police go through his room and learn he’s been stalking Lila for nearly a year, and everyone rejoices that he’s dead. The D.A. gives Steven back his internship, Steven and his ex-girlfriend Billie Winkler make up, and Lila and Steven get back at Liz and Jess by telling them that they’re engaged. But Lila and Steven ultimately agree that Liz and Jess were right about their relationship. SHUN! This book was SO AWFUL.
Meanwhile, Devon Whitelaw has arrived in Sweet Valley to visit his former nanny, Nan Johnstone. A nanny named Nan, whom he calls Nana. CRY @ lyfe! She isn’t out for his money, and he fixes all the broken shit in her house, and she reassures him that his family had loved him despite what he believes and they have a good cry together. Then Devon goes to a SVH-Big Mesa football game (I bet SVH wins!) and falls in love at first sight with Elizabeth because she looks so “pure.” ::vomits::
Other Notes:
- The back cover says, “Jessica cannot believe that her big brother, Steven, has fallen for her best friend, Lila Fowler. It’s disgusting!” Hey, no editorializing!
- The twins psychically know that something’s wrong with Steven right before the bomb goes off. Oh, shut up.
- Lila’s parents finally show up a month after the fire and are like, “Oh, geez, sorry you went through that, Lila!” and bribe her for love and forgiveness with a ski trip to Aspen. I hate everyone in this book.
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