* Photo credit to The Closet *
Muppets be damned!
On another note, that dude looks greasy.
After a small earthquake ruins the SVH roof, all the students are given a week off, and while Liz is content to stay home and write about construction fraud for The Oracle (dear God), Jess and Lila Fowler are jet-setting off to NYC for a few days of fabulousness.
However, the trip gets off to a rocky start. Lila oversleeps and she and Jess have to travel on separate flights. Jess nearly dies in a fiery plane crash but, for support, she grips the hand of a shady, bearded guy who looks like a terrorist. (This is pre-9/11, of course—there’s even a mention of the WTC!) However, it turns out that the terrorist is actually foxy, young recording artist Ryder Mitchell, and it’s love at first sight. (Obviously; there is no other kind in SVH.) However, Ryder has a bit of a problem: he’s ensnared in a publicity stunt that involves him getting engaged to another pop star, but now that he’s met Jess, he’s tired of letting his PR men push him around! He’s determined to be his own person, so he agrees to meet Jess atop the Empire State Building in three days after he’s sorted out his affairs.
Meanwhile, Lila is initially upset that her rich boyfriend, Bo Creighton from D.C., won’t meet her in NYC, but it’s not a total loss being in the city: the hotel upgrades her digs and kisses her toned butt because she bears a striking resemblance to the visiting Princess Charlotte of Laestra. The trip gets better when Bo surprises Lila and escorts her to Tiffany’s, where she tries on diamond bracelets. I’m envisioning them touring the city in a Pretty Woman-esque shopping montage with “Material Girl” playing. On the flipside, Princess Charlotte is roaming NYC sans bodyguards, feeling free and volunteering at the soup kitchen as “Lila Fowler.”
But it turns out that pretending to be the princess ain’t all it’s cracked up to be—or so the girls learn once they clamor into a cab belonging to a strange guy named Mr. G and he kidnaps them. His friend Vincent shows up to wave a gun around and both men get pissed when they find out Lila isn’t actually the princess, and they aren’t too willing to believe that she’s still a wealthy girl. They give the girls only Fritos to eat as they decide whether or not to kill them.
While this is occurring, Bo and Ryder are pulling their hair out, wondering where the girls are, and when the police don’t believe Bo (figures), Bo buys air time on the TV to broadcast Jess and Lila’s missing status. (Rich boyfriends are so handy!) Ryder happens to see the ad so that brings the boys together, and the kidnappers call Bo to demand a million-dollar ransom dropped off at the Yankee Stadium.
Even with Jess fretting over her missed ESB date and wondering, “Does he think I don’t love him?” (priorities, Wakefield, priorities!), she and Lila manage to free themselves from their binds with a broken orange juice bottle and escape after locking their captors in their own cell by having them slip on baseballs in the dark. (Don’t inquire further.) They drive a taxi back to the hotel just as the boys arrive at Yankee Stadium, only to wind up in the cell and Vincent and Mr. G howling for blood. But Jess and Lila bump into Princess Charlotte and explain their plight, and the princess gets the fuzz to save the boys just in the nick of time. Then Ryder has an impromptu concert where he sings soulfully to Jess, who marvels that “he’d risked his career for their relationship”—then Ryder promptly vanishes in the abyss of forgotten SVH boyfriends.
Other Notes:
- Jess gets the tinglies for Ryder—while he’s wearing his fake terrorist beard! I support Jess dating a beardy boy.
- Prior to knowing about the princess mix-up and upon hearing the hotel staff call Lila “princess,” Jess thinks, “I wonder what Lila has done to earn that nickname.” LOL.
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