* Photo credit to The Closet *
I can’t believe this. Ladies, that dude ain’t even that fine! Actually, I think this is the most unattractive collection of people to ever grace the cover of a Sweet Valley High book all at once. And one of those girls is supposed to be the really hot one.
And now, for the plot of The Truth About Cats & Dogs, I mean, My Best Friend’s Boyfriend:
Elegant Denise Hadley (who’s so fine that “her own beauty made people forget their own attractiveness”) and her horse-face BFF Ginny Belasca are, like, the high-school senior versions of Jean West and Sandra Bacon. Yawn. (Hint at what’s to come: Boyfriends are apparently the only thing best friends fight about in high school.) In order to feel better about herself, Ginny joins Project Youth a la Amy Sutton for an attitude adjustment.
Ginny’s outlook on life and love immediately improves after she talks some dude named Mike off his metaphorical rooftop after his mom decides to remarry. Mike is so grateful to Ginny and thinks she has a sexy voice so he asks her out, but Ginny thinks she’s a dee-oh-gee and gets Denise to go as “Ginny” in her place. Why do people think that this is a good idea? I wonder if I’d ever be in the position to think it would be. There’s just so much that ain’t right about the whole shebang.
Denise is already on precarious terms with her boyfriend/basketball star Jay McGuire, so she agrees to the one-time date and ends up falling totally in love with Mike. Mike thinks Denise is smokin’ while Ginny sits at home, pining and bemoaning fate. Denise is hot for Mike because he dotes on her, while all Jay thinks about is basketball, so she dumps Jay after her one date with Mike. What’s that saying about counting chickens?
For reasons unknown, Denise insists that Ginny join her and Mike on a date (how sensitive!) as “Denise.” Mike and Ginny-as-Denise hit it off, and despite Denise’s fineness, Mike’s not really feeling Denise-as-Ginny and calls the hotline to complain about how he wants to break up with her. Ginny-as-Ginny, of course, is taking the call and is all sighsighsigh about life.
Howevs, when Mike breaks up with Denise-as-Ginny, Denise-as-Ginny tells the truth about the real Ginny. (Are you confused yet? Have I lost you?) It turns out that that’s just who Mike was going to dump Denise-as-Ginny for! See, gang? It really does pay to just be yourself. Mike shows up at Project Youth and asks the real Ginny out for real real and tells her she’s really pretty, officially validating her once and for all. (I’m noticing a trend here… do volunteer work, get fine boyfriend…)
For once, a Wakefield is not involved in the central plot! That’s because Liz has her own nonsense going on: Amy Sutton mentions to Jess about one teen who called Project Youth because her teacher was sexually harassing her, Jess tells Liz, and Liz wants to write an article about it for The Oracle, but there’s so much opposition! The Chrome Dome thinks it’ll start a slew of wrongful accusations, just like it once did to Mr. Collins, and refuses to let The Oracle print it, even though everyone keeps applauding Liz and saying it’s the best thing that’s been written since the dawning of the ages. But Liz prints off a zillion copies and stuffs them in everyone’s locker, and Principal Cooper comes to admire her and lets her off scot-free. Argh, can’t she ever once just get even one little detention?
An aside: John Pfeifer, sports editor for The Oracle, is all for Liz’s article, saying that it should be written not just so that girls know the warning signs, but so that guys would know when to back off. All I can say is: EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP!!!!!!!!!!!!1 Well, once the article was out, did you even read it, John? I’ve said too much.
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