* Photo credit to The Closet *
According to my trained eye, Robin Wilson is probably the foxiest chick to ever grace the cover of a Sweet Valley High book. You heard me, twins! I also want her “SV” jersey shirt, like, today.
The cheerleaders are, for some reason, “doomed” because SVH needs a new gym floor. I don’t get it. Don’t they practice on the football field anyway? Nevertheless, co-captain Robin Wilson dreams up the idea for a Super Sundae Guinness Book fundraiser that the cheerleaders could do. Basically, they’re going to dump gallons of ice cream in a pyramid of kiddie pools, spooge chocolate syrup all over it and then sell “shares.” And the news crew is going to film it before a whooping crowd. Something about that whole scene sounds sort of pervy. And unsanitary.
Meanwhile, Robin is dueling with her own demons: Her boyfriend, George Warren, won’t be around as much anymore because he’s taking a new flying class and can’t stop talking about his flying partner, Vicky, a tall, slim Cynthia Phillips look-alike majoring in oceanography. Robin is actually taken by surprise that George is hanging out with this girl—but he met her in a flying class! That’s his thing! Despite Vicky’s best attempts to be friendly to her, Robin gives her the cold shoulder, feeling that she is sure to lose George to this girl. George can’t believe how frosty Robin is to his new friend, but Robin can only think of Vicky’s sexy slender-osity. If…if…if only Robin were thinner!
Knowing all about the horrors of being an ex-“buffalo butt” and suffering at the unwarrantedly hateful hand of the likes of Jessica Wakefield, Robin puts herself on a strict diet plan: no breakfast, salad for lunch, a light dinner, no snacks and copious amounts of water. This is also accompanied by walking to school every morning, going to diving practice, cheerleading, running laps and gymnastics—all in a day. This is the Robin Wilson Miracle Diet in action, people. Needless to say, she loses eight pounds in two weeks and goes about town like a walking cadaver, lapsing in and out of consciousness, lacking body heat and flying into a slaughtering rage when anyone dares eat a French fry in her presence. Of course, the only, only, only one who thinks Robin might be taking things a wee bit too far and actually talking to her about is… Ugh, I can’t even say it:
Robin sighed and glanced across the table. Elizabeth was watching her steadily. There was an unmistakable question in her eyes, and a look of concern. Robin felt her cheeks flush under Elizabeth’s scrutiny. Elizabeth could be very persistent if she thought a friend was upset or in trouble.
The idea of Elizabeth “watching me steadily” is actually frightening! Why can’t Robin’s real friends intervene? Why did it have to be Liz?
Robin winds up passing out at the Super Sundae shebang and is whisked to the hospital, where George sits faithfully by her bedside—and is accompanied by Vicky. It’s because he’s so upset! Vicky talks to Robin about Robin’s anorexia/pneumonia combo and then tells Robin how she, once upon a time, self-inflicted problems after her parents’ divorce: She became “a real dopehead” and it “almost killed” her! Vicky, you just lost a thousand cool points. Robin then feels better enough about life to choke down some toast and swallow a half glass of milk before telling George that they need a break, for her sanity.
Other Notes:
- “There was always a nagging doubt in [Robin’s] mind that George would never have noticed her if she had been fat.” This doubt is not unfounded, Robin. You’re in high school, you live in Sweet Valley and you tragically hang out with the Wakefields. The odds ain’t in your favor.
- Lois Waller turns up—she’s always mentioned when someone needs an overweight girl to comment on. This time, it’s to show everyone that she can share a plate of fries with her devoted boyfriend and actually be happy and have a fulfilling life without dieting or interacting with the Wakefields.
- Liz tells Robin “sincerely” that she “could be in a swimsuit ad,” and is surprised when Robin gets all uncomfortable, even though she recalls how “her own sister had been one of Robin’s worst tormentors. But Elizabeth had assumed that all that uneasiness was in the past.” You would, Liz. Her doth-I-protest-too-much attitude toward weight issues is also scoffable: “So what difference did it make if [Lois Waller] couldn’t wear size-six jeans? None at all, Elizabeth told herself confidently. None at all.” [End chapter dramatically] Which is such bullshit, because Liz herself wears size-six jeans! And doesn’t she start losing her mind and gaining a billion pounds in the first book of Sweet Valley University. But it makes no difference, Liz. None at all.
- Is it possible that Robin is one of the most authentic characters in Sweet Valley High? I found that I could legitimately sympathize with all her fears, like how she felt guilty pursuing the very interests that kept her from accepting her rich aunt’s fancy college money and will land her in state school, and she and George have a really believable fight in a restaurant. Even when she was being dramatic, it was realistically dramatic. Team Robin!
—
Please leave a comment and share this content with your friends on social media—
this helps ensure the continuation of the content you love!