* Photo credit to The Closet *
Liz looks annoying again. I’m irritated by her glare, like she’s mad because someone behind her just caused her to miss the perfect photo op. Or shouted “The Oracle sucks!” or something else that only Liz would take offense to.
There really must be some kind of tally as to how many SVH covers Liz’s matching barrettes have graced.
BTW: The title is total garbage! Ugh – you’ll see.
Liz, as you remember, is good at everything and has decided to join the photography club, which is already comprised of people from The Oracle. Yawn. They all decide to create a photo essay/collage about—what else?—life at Sweet Valley High, and they’re being all weird and secretive about it, like everyone will care. Then, in an act of total convenience, SKYE Morrow—remember her? Dead Regina’s diet-pill-addicted ex-model of a mother?—rings up Liz like they’re the best of friends and shows up at the Wakefield residence with a camera that belonged to Regina, who’d been getting all into photography before she died. (Right.)
Liz and that forgotten dog of hers—Prince Albert—goes to the beach to take pictures when she sees three men running along a path in a way that makes her feel uneasy. So uneasy, in fact, that she’s compelled to photograph it! The men freak out and attempt to take her camera away, but Prince Albert springs out of his useless state and scares the guys away, and then makes a heroic leap into the Fiat just as Liz is driving away. I’m sure. (I’m so skeptical of this story!)
After developing the weird photo, Liz puts it and the negatives in her purse. Meanwhile, Jess is being stalked while driving the Fiat—but y’all expected that, right? Mistaken identity! That isn’t trite at all! And who should be stalking her but Chad, the most attractive boy from Liz’s picture! He asks to see the photo, and Jess is all, “It’s in the darkroom of SVH!” and gives him her phone number. GROAN! This book was written, clearly, with the message to never reveal so much of yourself to strangers. More teens on social networking ought to read this! Anyway, Liz is being all self-absorbed and doesn’t bother to listen to Jess when Jess tries to tell her about dreamy Chad. I sense danger!
Liz and Todd Wilkins are watching the NEWS (they’re a real exciting bunch) when the newscaster starts babbling about how some dude is supposed to testify against some major drug dealers—and that dude is the one who attacked her! Oh noes! Todd doesn’t believe her, of course, but he humors her and vows to help her find out the haps. But when Liz arrives at school, the place is crawling with the fuzz because someone trashed the darkroom the night before. Liz is freaking out, but yet she doesn’t involve the cops because I guess she figures that they’re useless anyway. Chad calls for Jess but now Jess won’t tell Liz who Chad is because she’s still pissed that Liz rebuffed her attempts earlier. More proof that COMMUNICATION CAN SOLVE THE WORLD’S PROBLEMS!
Todd accompanies Liz to Amy Sutton’s dad’s darkroom and use the enlarger to read the “Rick’s Place” logo on of the dudes’ shirts. How convenient—a clue! Everything that happens in Sweet Valley is convenient. Meanwhile, Chad is demanding a date with Jess and is all, “Don’t forget that picture!” Jess can’t find the photo after ransacking Liz’s room, so she wears what is essentially lingerie masquerading as a dress to make it up to him. When Liz comes home, she finds the front door unlocked and her room a mess and freaks out while Todd is Mr. Sensible about it. I guess it’s better than him flipping out too. Anyway, this ransacking scene is totally useless but that shouldn’t surprise anyone.
Jess is dismayed that Chad asks disinterested questions of her and takes her bowling. While Jess whines and bowls her ball into the gutter, L&T go to Rick’s Place to “do some sleuthing,” and eventually who should show up but Jess and Chad! Chad is being especially harsh to Jess re: the photograph, and when she insists it’s at school, he tells her he’s already looked there and demands that they find it. Trouble is a-brewin’. They leave the restaurant and Todd and Chad drag race until Todd gets pulled over by a cop. But Liz explains the danger, and the cop is attentive to the seriousness of Liz’s voice and believes her, just like that. Because she’s Liz Wakefield, y’all! Talking to a Sweet Valley police officer!
Chad kicks in a window at SVH (gasp! What an uncouth vandal!) and is kicking away at Liz’s locker when the police arrive and Todd springs out from a locker to tackle Chad to the ground. Chad gets into the squad car and is straight-up Scooby Doo villain about it all: “Twins… I should’ve known. Twins have caused me nothing but trouble.” Oh boo hoo. Shunning the idea of a trial, apparently, Chad gives an informal confession in front of pretty much the whole town: It turns out that the dude in the picture has a twin—the same twin testifying in DC about everyone selling drugs, blah blah, it’s stupid. And then the cops validate the twins: “I’d just like to shake your hands. You’ve done the whole country a great service.” I’m barfing.
Meanwhile, insecure basketball hottie Shelley Novak is suspicious of her boyfriend Jim Roberts for being all mysterious about the photo essay. When Jim stands Shelley up at the Dairi Burger for photography club purposes, she hops in star basketball player Greg Hilliard’s Jeep. (How is it that everyone on the basketball team is a star?) Even though Liz is all wrapped up in being thanked on a national level for solving crimes, she still has time to get Jim and Shelley back together and suggests Jim sneak a special message to Shelley in the photo essay. I’m disappointed that she actually had to help him come up with something like that. He puts up a picture of Shelley playing basketball and Shelley realizes he loves her. Oh, pfft. Then they make out.
Other Notes:
- You can tell Chad’s bad news because he’s a smoker. It’s a tell-tale sign! Clean lungs = good people.
- What does this all have to do with Regina, you ask? Not a freaking thing.
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